There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Of course I have a pirate flag
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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