you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize