Well apparently he's into motor boating.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
