I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
