Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
