Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
