How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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