oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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