"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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