So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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