just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
