Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
