you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
