hotel room ftw
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
