My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
they need to just BURY HIM!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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