apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
