its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
