I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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