I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
