She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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