why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
