Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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