It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
