Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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