We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize