ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
