Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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