who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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