At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize