Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
