Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
