He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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