The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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