hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
