So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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