She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
