ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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