why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
