I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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