dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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