This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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