so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
