i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
