Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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