Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
