Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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