Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
