Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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