we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
