she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize