C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
