i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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