I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why do cheetos always look like penises
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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