If i come over, it means nothing
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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