Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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